Let’s have a quick show of hands — who else has read The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins? Or at the very least, stumbled across her TED Talk during a late-night scroll, made mental notes to ‘try it tomorrow’… and then promptly forgot? I’m here to tell you to fix that.
After turning 40 and feeling a bit lost, I decided to create a new blueprint for I want my life to be like. Something that got me clear on health, social life, wellbeing and creative goals for what feels a little like a new era in my life. I wanted to find a way forward. As part of this, I also set myself 40 goals that I want to achieve this year – and one of those goals was to read 40 self-improving books.
The first one I opened was The 5 Second Rule. And it’s safe to say this first one has been quite the unexpected game changer.
Along with Untamed by Glennon Doyle, it feels like a book that everyone should read. If they ran classes for how to be a decent human adult, it would be on the recommended list. For anyone who is trying to juggle all of the things, who doesn’t feel that they’re moving forward, who has an idea of who they want to be, a bit of a roadmap to get there and still can’t seem to achieve it – this is for you.
We can’t always rely on motivation. That comes and goes, even for elite athletes, CEOs and people at the top of their game. So what next? This book has some of the answers for that.
So, what is The 5 Second Rule exactly?
At its core, it’s delightfully simple — the sort of concept you’ll kick yourself for not thinking up first. And that’s why it works so, so well. It’s the sort of simple, almost childish logic that even the most stubborn mind can accept. And actually, a large part of it is based on the how to side step the doubting internal dialogue, the constant overthinking, and the battle between what we want to do and what we feel like doing – which are rarely the same.
Here’s the concept: whenever you have an instinct to act on a positive goal – choose the salad for lunch, drink that glass of water, make the trip to that spin class – you must physically move towards it within five seconds.
Five seconds is the amount of time it takes for the thinking brain to kick in. You know, the part that is full of self-doubt and reasons why not to. Our brains are wired primarily to keep us safe and that means sticking to what we’ve always known – even if that means patterns of thought and behaviour that actually don’t serve us or make us well.
Mel Robbins breaks it down like this:
- Count backwards: 5-4-3-2-1. No, counting forwards does not work, apparently. There’s something about the backwards counting that triggers us to take action.
- Take action: Get out of bed, send the email, make the call — whatever you were dithering about.
- Interrupt doubt: The countdown interrupts your brain’s habit of talking you out of doing hard, uncomfortable, or boring things.
It’s not magic. It’s just a way to hack your own hesitation and get your bum into gear before your mind sabotages you.
How I use it as a busy working parent
I’ll be honest — some days I feel like my life is just one long list of things I should do, but don’t feel like doing:
- Wake up early and exercise before the kids wake up?
- Tackle the tricky email I’ve been ignoring?
- Stop doom-scrolling and actually get some sleep?
Enter the 5 Second Rule. Now, when my alarm goes off at 5am and my cosy duvet begs me to stay, I mutter ‘5-4-3-2-1’ and swing my feet onto the floor before my brain reminds me how tired I am. When I catch myself procrastinating on a work task, I count down and hit send before the overthinking creeps in. If I think ‘huh, I really should be drinking more water’ – I 5-4-3-2-1 and go drink some. It’s really that simple.
I’ve even used it mid-kids’ tantrum — ‘5-4-3-2-1, breathe… respond calmly.’ Okay, that one’s a work in progress!
Why it works for me
The simplicity is the beauty of this idea. You don’t need massive willpower, lots of motivation or an elaborate routine. It’s basic, it’s available at any time, and it works. This rule feels like it gives you a little extra superpower to get going on the things you should be doing. And on days when the mental load feels extra heavy, that tiny act of counting down reminds me that I’m in charge, not my scattered brain.
The best part? Getting these small wins in actually rewires your brain. Suddenly, you become the kind of person that keeps promised to themselves. The person who makes the right choices without fuss. And that really is revolutionary. Your self-concept changes. You’re showing up as who you want to be. That does absolute wonders for your self-esteem, especially if you’re the kind of person, like me who is used to making excuses.
It becomes the enabler that allows me to habit-stack and move closer each day to the person I actually want to be.
Should you try it?
If you’re craving a practical, no-fuss push to do the things you know you should — but never quite get around to — The 5 Second Rule is worth a read. Or just pinch the concept and run with it. Honestly, it’s the sort of micro-habit that slots perfectly into the chaos of parenting and working life.
If you’ve read it (or tried it), I’d love to know — does counting backwards actually work for you too? Or do you have another go-to trick for getting yourself moving? Pop a comment below — let’s swap hacks!
Related Reads on SheWritesStyle
- How I’m Reclaiming Micro-Moments of Joy as a Working Parent
- My Sanity-Saving Morning Routine (That’s Actually Realistic)
- 7 Self-Care Rituals Busy Mums Can Actually Stick To
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